A muggle-born’s sibling sends them a howler in the middle of the school year and it arrives while they eat. When they open it, all it does is simply scream “WHAT TEAM?”. Nearly all the muggle-borns shout “WILDCATS!” before returning to their meal, leaving the pure-bloods in total confusion of what the hell they just witnessed.
I accept and fully support this headcanon
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee
a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words
So there’s this app that you can post anonymously about things in your area and this is my favorite one
that’s why storms are named after people
cool date idea:
1. come over to my place with your dog
2. leave your dog
3. go home
do you ever think about the judges for the triwizard tournament trying to figure out who to kidnap for the second task
like they’re all just sitting in dumbledore’s office and karkaroff goes “well word on the street says that krum has a crush on that granger girl”
"damn," says dumbledore, "I wanted harry to rescue her. well, what about the delightful miss chang?"
"no," says bagman, "we’ve got her down for diggory"
"stop sinking my ships," says dumbledore