my twin brother is trying to convince me to have our 16th birthday dinner tomorrow night at Buffalo Wild Wings
Cannibalism is an act of dominance.
the eleventh tribute → [1/5] outfits
↳ no outfit lol"Doctor, why are you naked?"
"Because I’m going to church!"
It’s the fckn worst when you accidentally close a tab
ctrl + shift + t
my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple
when will my nipple come back from the war
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
i love watching my innocent friends slowly transform into beautiful horny butterflies as we get older
I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more.
A muggle-born’s sibling sends them a howler in the middle of the school year and it arrives while they eat. When they open it, all it does is simply scream “WHAT TEAM?”. Nearly all the muggle-borns shout “WILDCATS!” before returning to their meal, leaving the pure-bloods in total confusion of what the hell they just witnessed.
I accept and fully support this headcanon